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Couples Sessions

Are You Ready for Couples Sessions?

Maybe you’re considering separating, or you’re dealing with conflict you haven’t been able to resolve, or you’ve lost the connection you once had. Maybe you’re dealing with a relationship crisis, such as infidelity. Or maybe your relationship is strong, and you want to reach a deeper level of intimacy, emotionally and sexually. A couples session with Dr. Chalmer could be just what you need to jump-start the changes you’re looking for.

What To Expect

You and your partner will meet with Dr. Chalmer for sessions of 45, 60, 75, or 90 minutes. The longer sessions are a great way to jump-start your healing. Since all sessions are by telehealth (using a HIPAA-compliant version of Zoom), you can attend from anywhere, even if the two of you are in separate places. Dr. Chalmer will guide the two of you in sessions designed to open your hearts, promote healing, handle conflicts more effectively, and help you find your path.

The Path To Healing

The longer minute sessions are a great way to begin your couples therapy. You might find that one or two of those are sufficient to get started, perhaps transitioning to 45-minute sessions after that. Or, even if you are already doing therapy, you might wish to schedule one or more longer sessions as a way of getting unstuck, clarifying difficult issues, and moving past obstacles in your work.

What, Not How

The relationship problems you’re having aren’t because you need better communication skills. The problem isn’t how you’re communicating. The problem is what you’re communicating.

It's Not About Communication

In my book, It’s Not About CommunicationI present the basic idea that the problems you are having are almost always not about communication. And if you think couples therapy should be about giving you tools to communicate better, you’re probably wrong.

People tend to follow communication rules when they’re doing well. But trying to follow the rules when you’re not doing well won’t make you do well. In fact, when a couple isn’t doing well, in the sense that they’re frequently in panic mode with each other, they find it impossible to follow the rules. By way of analogy, ever notice how Rafael Nadal and a lot of other professional tennis players grunt loudly whenever they hit the ball? Guess what: grunting when you hit the ball won’t make you play like Rafa.

Common Questions - Please read before scheduling a session

45, 60, 75, or 90 minutes. You determine how long the session will be, in consultation with Dr. Chalmer.

Dr. Chalmer does not accept insurance—sessions are offered on a self-pay basis only. If you wish to submit your sessions for insurance reimbursement (if your insurance offers reimbursement for out-of-network practitioners), Dr. Chalmer will provide you with a statement you can use. This will require assigning a mental health diagnosis to one of you. Also, you may be able to use an HSA, FSA, or similar plan to reimburse yourself—consult your employer or financial advisor to see if that’s permissible.

You and Dr. Chalmer determine together how often to schedule sessions. Some couples come weekly or every other week at first, and then transition to less frequent sessions. There’s no fixed pattern.

Dr. Chalmer is bound by confidentiality, and takes that responsibility very seriously. This means he does not communicate with anyone in a way that might identify you, without your explicit consent.

There are some legal exceptions to confidentiality: If Dr. Chalmer has reason to suspect child abuse, or abuse of a vulnerable adult, he is required to report that to the appropriate state agency. If Dr. Chalmer thought anyone he is working with might be a danger to self or others, he might have to break confidentiality to deal with an emergency situation. Of course, if you have any questions, contact Dr. Chalmer.

The fees for each session are $215 for a 45-minute session, $275 for a 60-minute session, $325 for a 75-minute session, and $365 for a 90-minute session.

There’s no way to know in advance how many sessions you’ll need. Some couples are able to make the changes they’re looking for in just a few sessions, and some require more.

All sessions are by telehealth, using HIPAA-compliant software. The two of you can be in the same room, or in two different locations, which sometimes makes scheduling sessions more convenient.

If you cancel a session within 48 hours of its scheduled time, you can be charged the full fee for the session. No refund will be made for time not used if a sessions ends before its scheduled time.

Before you schedule an appointment, please see information about fees and policies above on this page. Once you’ve decided to schedule a session, please use the button below to fill out a signup form. Dr. Chalmer will contact you, and you’ll be given access to a client portal so you can pick a time that works for you.

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Please see information about fees and policies at the Common Questions section of the Couples Sessions page. Once you’ve decided to schedule a session, please fill out the form below.

Couples Sessions

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